Puppies are bundles of energy who naturally love games like chasing, roughhousing, and tug-o-war. However, the way a dog naturally plays—grabbing forbidden objects and running, playing “catch me if you can,” or getting into a growly play—is often driven by their innate pack orderinstincts. If they see you chasing them or letting them win, they learn they are in control, or the “alpha.”
But don’t worry—you absolutely can play with your puppy! The key is to engage in ways that reinforce you as the leader.
Focus on Brainpower, Not Just Brawn
When a dog runs around out of control, it pumps them full of adrenaline and energy, making them more hyper and anxious. Instead of focusing solely on physical exhaustion, engage their brain. Mental work is what truly tires them out.
- Make Toys a Job: Instead of letting your puppy satisfy themselves by chewing, interactwith them. Rotate their toys and give each one a name. Spend a few minutes playing with them: tell them “Good job, bring me your ball,” and throw it once or twice. This teaches them to bring the toy to you and drop it in your hand.
- The Thinking Retrieve: Instead of mindlessly throwing a ball, which can hype them up, use the opportunity for obedience and control.
- Command your dog to “sit” and “wait” as you throw the object.
- Once the object stops moving, send them to retrieve it.
- As they return, command them to “wait” and “drop” it in your hand.
- You can also teach them to stop halfway and “down” before completing the retrieve. This transforms a hyper-inducing game into an exercise in listening and control.
Handling the Wrong Objects
Puppies are smart and learn that grabbing something they shouldn’t (like your shoe) is the best way to get your attention. Never chase them.
- The Non-Chase Retrieve: When they grab something forbidden, kneel down and happily encourage them to bring the object to you.
- The Release: When they bring it, tell them to “give” and gently but firmly move your hand over the object until they release it into your hand. Do not scold them or snatch it away.
- Give It a Job: Use this as a foundation to teach them to retrieve objects you do want them to pick up, like fetching a shoe or other household item. This gives your dog a valuable joband a way to please you.
Rethink Traditional Games
Some common puppy games accidentally teach them to be dominant.
- Avoid Rough Play: A mother dog never plays rough with her puppies. Rough play makes your puppy think of you as a littermate and teaches them that playing rough is acceptable with everyone, including children. No wrestling, nipping, or growling games.
- Tug-o-War with a Twist: Letting your dog run off with the rope after a tug-o-war shows them they are stronger than you. If you like the game, turn it into a Service Dog job by teaching them to “pull” (for a few seconds) and then immediately “release” the rope on command. This builds muscle and serves as a valuable exercise for later use (like pulling you out of a chair).
- Don’t Give Old Objects: Never give your dog old shoes, socks, or children’s toys to chew on. They cannot discern between the old ones and the new ones; they just smell your scent and think all similar objects are fair game.
Address Jumping and Leash Manners
- Stop Jumping: Jumping is a disrespectful, attention-seeking behavior that often starts when owners carry their puppies at their own height. When your puppy jumps:
- DO NOT look at them, talk to them, or touch them.
- Simply walk directly into them to make them go off balance.
- Continue this until they approach you politely, then immediately praise the calm behavior.
- Leash Walk with Respect: A walk is a structured opportunity for training, not just a free-for-all for sniffing and marking. Your dog is still taking in all the scents as they walk. Teach your dog to walk attentively by your side. A controlled, attentive dog is a dog you can trust for more freedom later on hikes and in open areas.
In every interaction, ask yourself: Is my dog learning manners, a job, and control, or are they controlling me? By using playtime to reinforce your role as the leader, you are providing structure and purpose, which ultimately leads to a calmer, happier, and more obedient dog.